Category: Blog


Dec
2017

I Suck At Playing With My Kids

categories: Being a Mum, Blog, Parenting

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I look around at other parents who really love getting down on their kids’ level and engaging in activities and imaginary play, and I think “I wish I loved doing that”.

Fact of the matter is, I suck at playing with my kids; and I feel bad about that.

I get no joy in “pretending to be a dinosaur” or imagining “the floor is lava”. Doing any kind of craft activity makes me want to run and hide.

Don’t get me wrong, I love being with my children. I love going on outings together. I love reading and watching movies with them. Heck I even like baking with them.

And despite the fact they sometimes drive me insane, I LOVE spending time with them.

I just really suck at playing with them.

I love watching my kids play imaginary games though. Once my 5 year old and 3 year old came up with a game of “cemetery” where they pretended to be dead and buried in a cemetery. HILARIOUS.

Another time they set up all of their toys and lined up their Shopkins and had some kind of showdown where the toys took out the Shopkins one by one.

My kids imagination is phenomenal and I just can’t keep up.

I feel truly terrible about it too. I see other parents doing their thing and envy them that they can get on their level and play like that.

My kids are loved, cared for and always have my attention when they need it. I’ll encourage them to play and if necessary help them start a game or activity. My thing is I just don’t want to do it with them.

“Maybe it’s because I always feel busy, distracted by household responsibilities or tired. Maybe it’s because I’m not a particularly “silly” person and I don’t fall easily into a childlike state of play. When my kids want to play a board game, I’m all in – but put me in a room full of Barbies and I can’t handle it.” – quote from a Scary Mommy article that perfectly sums up how I feel.

I worry that this fact will make me look like a bad mum; that it will make me look lazy and that I don’t love my kids.

It’s not that at all.

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I Suck At Playing With My Kids


Dec
2017

Shade Needed For Playgrounds

categories: Blog, Parenting, Shade Petition

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Whether you think it’s controversial, or just me being silly; fact of the matter is when it’s hot outside, it’s almost impossible for our kids to play on a playground that has no shade.

We can lather our children in sunscreen, give them adequate clothing and pop a hat on them (which most of us do); but still it doesn’t help the fact that often the sun is so hot it’s impossible for our kids to play on a playground.

It’s time our councils took this matter seriously and started providing shade over our children’s playgrounds.

Here’s the latest article on the matter (published 9th January 2018): https://www.tvnz.co.nz/one-news/new-zealand/shade-shortage-playgrounds-putting-kids-risk-sunburn-skin-cancer-researchers

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I started this conversation about a year ago and was met with a lot of support, and a little resistance. Those against having some kind of shade for our playgrounds said things like:

“You should just learn to put sunscreen on your child”

“Put a hat on your child you lazy parent”

“Just don’t take them to the playground in the heat of the day, it’s not rocket science”

“Why should the councils do your job for you as a parent”

“When I was growing up we had no shade and we are fine”

Honestly the list of comments goes on and I was a little discouraged by the human race when I read things like this.

Why build a playground that cannot be used at ANY time of the day? Why subject our children (or ourselves) to the incredible heat of the sun?

Obviously protecting our children from sun burn / skin cancer is the obvious reason to have a shade sail, but it’s also to do with the fact that we need to give our kids a reprieve from the heat.

HERE’s a new article from TVNZ:

PLUS as parents who want to take their kids outdoors, it is NO FUN sitting in the burning hot sun.

NO FUN AT ALL.

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So yes, I’m starting this conversation again.

There are plenty of playgrounds in Australia that are built with AMAZING shade sails, which proves it can be done.

There are also a lot of playgrounds in New Zealand that have shade – I’ve been to a few of them and it’s amazing; but there’s MORE that don’t have any kind of shade at all.

When I talked about this a year ago, I did approach the Auckland City Council but was also met with resistance – with them saying they “do their best” with new playgrounds.

Seriously?! THAT IS NOT ENOUGH.

Because new playgrounds are being built with little to no shade – really unacceptable for us here in New Zealand. Especially given the skin cancer statistics here; skin cancer is by far the most common cancer affecting New Zealanders

Here are some links to previous articles I’ve written about this topic, feel free to read these:

Also, if you’d like to sign a petition to get the councils / government to start thinking about our kids, you can sign it here at Change.org.

The Cancer Society of New Zealand support my call to have more shade, so let’s get it talked about more!

WATCH THIS SPACE! I’m teaming up with Jacquelyn from Kiwi Play Safe and we’re joining forces to talk about playground shade AND fencing! WE can make a difference because we have a voice – so we are looking out for our children and the future generations!

What do you think about this topic? Do you think shade sails (or shade) should be provided for our children at playgrounds across the country?

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Dec
2017

I Cried A Lot During 2017

categories: Blog

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For our family, 2017 was an amazing year.

It was my daughter’s first year at primary school, and my 3 year old boy started Kindergarten. They both LOVED it. They thrived and learned and grew as human beings – it’s been amazing to watch.

My husband continued his daily job like a machine, whilst fixing up the house at the end of the day (when he could). He was also amazing at looking after the kids on the weekend. I am beyond grateful for all he does and he really excelled this year – we really are a great team.

Then there was me. I had a pretty amazing year – I was on the Anika Moa show, the Cafe, The AM Show AND I recorded a voice ad for the radio, got to travel to Wellington for an event AND SO MUCH MORE. I worked with some great brands, met new and amazing people; and I got to give away some phenomenal prizes to you guys.

Don’t get me wrong, I feel very blessed to have had the year I had, but I still struggled.

I struggled a lot with my weight, and it’s taken me almost a whole year to finally do something about it – boot camp. Boot camp and eating better has truly changed my life and for that I am grateful.

I also struggled with social media.

The things that happened on social media really f’ked with me, and I’ve shed a lot of tears.

From having rumours spread about me, to people actively being assholes to my face; it was a bit stressful for me at times.

I’ve learned a lot of lessons though: stop engaging. There’s no reasoning with people who have made their minds up about you. It’s hard, but true.

My way of processing is to talk it out. I tend to over explain to get my point across, but it became clear that people didn’t want to hear that.

So I had to learn to stop talking about it. In fact, I had to turn my messaging system off on Facebook because I never knew if I was going to receive a message in support, or a nasty message. The nasty messages were not common but still – it caused me anxiety knowing they might come.

I now actively won’t stand for unkind or nasty messages on my social media posts. I’m all for having an opinion and I love that we have different ones, but if people can’t use kind words to express themselves then there is no place for them on my page.

I also learned a very hard lesson about people in the social media industry – they will pretty much believe anything they hear or read that backs up their own thinking about me (or anyone).

None of what is said about me has been true, yet a whole bunch of people love to jump on it and believe it’s true.

It’s been heart breaking.

I love what I do here on the internet but sadly people can be very unkind at times.

Thankfully I have an amazing support team behind the scenes – my husband does struggle to understand the whole social media world but offers solid advice, which is always backed up by my incredible friends. Phil and my friends offer me a perspective I can’t see, and I will never ever forget them for being by my side.

They’ve been instrumental in helping me cope, and the poor people have to listen to me bitch and moan more than most.

So I have learned a lot in 2017, and I plan on growing from it;  I’m looking forward to seeing what 2018 brings for myself, my family, and for Happy Mum Happy Child.

My skin is getting thicker – trust me! This whole experience is helping be stronger and more resilient, and has shown me who my true friends are.

I thank you all for your continued support, it will always be truly appreciated.

>> Check me out on Instagram, Twitter & Snapchat! <<

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2017


Dec
2017

Schools Don’t Do Prize Givings?!

categories: Blog, Parenting, School

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My daughter’s school recently had their annual School Prize Giving, and she was fortunate enough to receive an award (the Manaakitanga Award for kindness, empathy, friendliness, and a whole bunch of other amazing things that she achieved during the year – so proud of her).

Over the last few days, however, I have heard a few people say that at several different schools the policy was to NOT have a prize giving.

This was because the school didn’t want to single children out.

I find this a little bit bizarre as I do believe children should be rewarded for their achievements, and I feel that it’s political correctness gone crazy.

Yes participation is amazing but at most that’s mandatory. Participation for me WAS an achievement because for me there were SO many things I didn’t want to do at school haha. However we all know there is going to be someone who excels, and works harder, at something more than others and personally I think it’s great that it is recognised.

There is always a runner who is faster than everyone else; there is always a child who is academically smarter; there is always a child who has grown the most in a year.

These children have worked hard for this and their achievements deserve to be recognised.

Before I dropped Chloe off at school, she said “Mum I really want to win a prize” – at that point she had no idea she was going to win one (but I knew), so I said to her:

“Chloe, it doesn’t matter if you don’t win a prize; not everyone will. It is really important, however, to be happy for those who do win“.

Winning a prize and NOT WINNING a prize are both life lessons, and I want my children to learn them. I want my children to know that sometimes they will excel, and sometimes others will excel.

Participating is freaking amazing, but sometimes it’s about more than that and I am glad our local school recognises the achievements that students have made.

I believe achievements in life should always be encouraged and rewarded.

What do you think? Do you agree with prize givings or think they shouldn’t be around?

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Schools Don’t Do Prize Givings?!


Dec
2017

What Happens When The Kids Go To School?!

categories: Blog, Parenting, School

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Now when I say “what happens when the kids go to school?”, I’m not talking about with us adults; I’m actually talking about the kids.

When you drop them off, and they’re in that classroom all day, what exactly do they do? How are they around other kids? Are they kind? Do they help out? Do they listen?

We have a night-time ritual where while we are eating our dinner, we talk about our day. We remember what we did during the day and we tell everyone.

As my kids are young still (just turned 6 and 3 years old), their memory is limited, but it is getting better. It’s nice for them to think back on the day, and it’s nice for us to know what happened.

But other than this, and asking the teacher, the rest is left up to fate. It is what it is – we never really know what happens.

The other day I got my 5 year old’s year-end report. It’s a very basic run down of her first year, and where she is at with her writing, reading and mathematics.

We then have a parent-teacher conference and discuss how she’s been going.

This was when I realised how ridiculously proud of her I was. Here’s what the overall comment said:

“Chloe you have grown in confidence this year, and you are friends with all in your class. You happily participate in all parts of class life. You are kind, gentle and caring of others who find learning difficult“.

When we went to the parent-teacher conference, the teacher elaborated on this and said that Chloe was very considerate to others, and made kids feel included when they might not have felt like they were.

I was beyond proud of her and got a bit teary-eyed.

Considering how much she fights with Ronan, some part of me despairs because I assume she is a bit like that at school – which clearly isn’t the case.

This gives me hope!

Do you ever feel like this? Like you have no idea what’s happening at school? 

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What Happens When The Kids Go To School?!


Dec
2017

Parents Who Cancel Christmas

categories: Blog, Christmas, Parenting

Parents Who Cancel Christmas

I came across this article in The Sun, about a Brisbane Mum who “cancelled” Christmas because her kids were misbehaving.

I also came across another article on More FM about how the letter “caused an outrage amongst parents“.

The Brisbane Mum of 3 was apparently slammed by online parents for being cruel. I thought I’d add my two cents worth in on it, because well … I can.

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I personally do not give two hoots how another parent parents; it’s completely and utterly up to them. When I told my husband about this article, he laughed – specifically at the thought people were outraged.

He said “it’s up to the parent what they do with the child – it’s their children. And it can’t be all happy all the time – you have to discipline your kids and if this is how they do it then so-be-it.”

We both agreed that whilst it’s not something we would personally do, we understand there are loads of things we do as parents that others don’t do.

That’s how parenting works – we all do things differently.

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I always think Christmas time is a particularly difficult time for EVERYONE in the family. Christmas brings out a lot of stresses for families – from Mum and Dad busy with work, getting ready for Christmas, the traffic is worse, the public are a bit grumpier and then the kids.

It’s really good to remember that at this time of the year, kids are REALLY tired. I mean I get it, there’s no excuse for bad behaviour really, but it does pay to keep it in your mind that after a year of activities and going to school / daycare / kindergarten, with minimal break, it can start to take it’s toll on a child.

I know when my kids are tired, they wear their emotions on their sleeve and sometimes act out a bit more than usual. Or listen even less … it’s a really wonderful thing *sarcasm*.

Whether you agree with this Mum or not, about cancelling Christmas, just remember that every single one of us is different.

Also, she hasn’t actually cancelled Christmas yet – she used it as a threat to get her children to listen to her.

I’ve done many things as a parent that I’m sure people would be like “WTF MARIA”, but I do what I do to get my kids to listen and take me seriously.

If this works for her, then who am I to judge!

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Dec
2017

13 Movies Perfect For Christmas

categories: Blog, Christmas

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Christmas is my favourite time of the year, and pulling out all of those Christmas DVD’s is all a part of this fun.

Here’s a great list of movies perfect for this time, because lets be honest, the stuff on TV can sometimes not live up to Christmas expectation.

These are movies I have seen growing up, and with my kids. If there’s any movie I’ve missed that you think is worth being on this list, let me know!

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1. Love Actually

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2. Home Alone

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3. Home Alone 2

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4. Die Hard

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5. Elf

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6. The Santa Clause

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7. How The Grinch Stole Christmas

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8. Arthur Christmas

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9. A Christmas Story

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10. Bad Santa

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11. The Nightmare Before Christmas

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12. The Polar Express

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13. Miracle On 34th Street

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These are just some of the many movies we love around Christmas time. Let me know below what your favourite movie is around Christmas time!

13 Movies Perfect For Christmas

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Dec
2017

Those First Few Hours

categories: Being a Mum, Blog

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I don’t have anything to compare this too, but just from what I’ve heard other’s say, my first child’s birth was relatively quick.

After being induced at 7.30am, I had Chloe at 9.30pm that night after 1 hour of pushing. Obviously there’s more to the story than that, but you can read that in my Labour Stories post.

By 11pm, I was out of hospital in our car on our way to BirthCare.

I remember so vividly sitting in the back of the car, while Phil drove, and saying “I can’t believe I just had a baby“.

I think I was in shock a little.

When Chloe was born, I didn’t “click” with her straight away. It took me a while to realise she was my baby.

So that car ride from the hospital to BirthCare, I felt very disconnected from the whole thing.

It was a very surreal moment and one I’ll never forget.

It was almost like I hadn’t given birth at all, instead had just been given this baby to look after.

I didn’t know who she was, and I had no idea what to do.

That first night at BirthCare was crazy; up all night trying to breastfeed. I had midwives all over my boobs trying to show me different ways to get the baby to latch.

Every time I’d start to fall asleep, the baby would wake up.

Changing nappies.

And bleeding.

Still not knowing what I was doing.

Still feeling like I’d been given a child and had not connected with this person at all.

I found it very rough.

When my Mum came to visit the next day (she’d flown over from Australia), I burst into tears. I really didn’t know what to do, or say, or how to handle anything.

I needed my Mum.

But sadly my Mum didn’t live in New Zealand at that time, so that was another thing that added to my struggle.

So those first few hours, and days, were incredibly rough for me. I was confused, overwhelmed, had no idea what I was doing and felt very lost.

It took me a really long time to connect with my eldest, which I still feel incredibly guilty about. But it is what it is, and I love her more than anything in the world (and her brother of course).

How were those first few hours after giving birth for you?

Those First Few Hours

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Dec
2017

These Outdoor Toys From Kmart Look Like So Much Fun

categories: Blog, Kmart, School Holiday

Two weeks and school holidays begins … the end of the year looms and to be honest I’m bloody excited. I’m looking forward to chilling out with my kids and not having to worry about lunches, or leaving the house at 8am.

We are the type of people who prefer to stay at home, or just do a day trip to a playground here and there. I have an awesome list of Things To Do In Auckland page, as well as an Activities for Kids page. However sometimes I like to dream about doing something different.

So this time, I took a virtual trip through the Kmart aisles to see what I could get to help entertain us during this lengthy period of time.

Here are some of the fun outdoor toys from Kmart to get your kids outside:

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Shark Splash Boxer

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Sand & Water Table

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Mega Bubble Wands

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Splash Sprinkler Mat

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Junior Sprinkler Mat

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Inflatable Play House

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Octopus Sprayer Sprinkler 

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Inflatable Animal Rocker

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Single Water Slide

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Simple Water Blaster

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Bubble Rocket

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Double Water Rider

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Mini Jumper

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Outdoor Sports Set

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Python Sprinkler

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And just to clarify, this post (nor any other Kmart one on my website) is NOT sponsored – my love for Kmart transcends space and time, and is everlasting.

These Outdoor Toys From Kmart Look Like So Much Fun 

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Dec
2017

Horrible Post Written To Mums Who Shop At Kmart …

categories: Blog, Kmart, Parenting

 

 

I came across an article online last night which was about a woman who had written a post in a Facebook group, about how mothers who shop at Kmart and/or salvation shops, don’t deserve to be parents.

She says it “disgusts me and don’t deserve children and should not have had children“. You can read the full post here:

Ok, and breathe.

For starters, she’s not even a parent yet. So breathe, and let’s all have a little giggle at the non-parent passing judgement …

Secondly, as a parent these types of shops that provide cheaper clothes are AMAZING for us as a family. We cannot afford a lot, and what we can afford we know will probably be ruined – because, well, KIDS.

The clothes I get from these cheaper type stores look great on my kids, and as I said above, I would much rather spend $5 on a tee shirt that could potentially get wrecked, than $40; but that’s just me.

There are loads of parents who don’t like shopping at Kmart, or the cheaper type shops – and that’s fine too! If you can afford to shop wherever you want, then go you good thing go!

Oh and “brand named food“?!

I hate to tell you this but 9 times out of 10, that food is just the same food as the brand named one, just packaged differently.

And if it’s not, then who cares. It’s food – we should feel incredibly lucky that our children eat because there’s so many others out there in this world who don’t have that luxury. Even unbranded food.

So at the end of the day, this “post” that was written by just a regular “non Mum” should just be ignored.

It’s a troll doing what they do best:

And we all have to remember to not feed the trolls …

And keep shopping at Kmart ok?!

Horrible Post Written To Mums Who Shop At Kmart …

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