I Hate Giving My Kids A Bath

Well now the cat’s out of the bag, but if you follow me on Snapchat (happymumnz) you will already know this: I hate giving my kids a bath.

Here’s the scenario:

We have a bath. Not a competition length swimming pool with a diving board at one end, and a slide at the other. There”s not a hot tub in there either – it’s just a bath.

Before we’ve even gotten in the bath there’s a “race to the bath” which ends in tears. No matter how I police it, someone cries before it’s even started.

Then there’s the “who’s getting in the bath first” argument followed by the “it’s your turn to be by the tap” kerfuffle.

Don’t even get me started on the “he’s sitting too close to me” fight.

Once the children have settled down, the bath becomes a sort of playground.

Standing up, sitting down, lying down – you name it, they do it. And with all of the water sloshing about like a cruise ship in a storm.

I’m already on edge as a parent about silly little things, but slipping in a bath freaks me the f’k out.

We have a “no standing in the bath rule” but kids always push their luck.

After the territorial fights, and the “just sit down” conversations, I’m just about over it. Ready to pull the plug (GET IT. LIKE ACTUALLY LOLOLOL) …

That’s when the kids pull the big guns out.

The bath splash.

The one where they only really need to move a few inches and the entire contents of the bath end up outside of the bath and on me.

The one where the kids are like ” it’ll just be a little splash Mum” but in their minds there is Mr Burns saying “EXCELLENT it is time for the biggest splash in the world” …..

Nope. Nope. NOPE.

I’m done. I’m out. I haven’t even cleaned them at this point and I’m already mentally preparing for a glass of wine.

Even as babies there was this constant fear a poo would pop out of my kids’ butt. Sometimes it’s happened as an infant / toddler – NOT COOL.

Plus I still have to battle to clean them. You know – wipe their faces, use soap … BRUSH THEIR TEETH. All of those things are met with arguments and distractions.

Much much easier for my stress levels if my husband does it – so that’s exactly what happens.

And then on nights when he’s not around, I just say I gave them a bath and I didn’t.

Because, it doesn’t hurt to skip a bath every now-and-then, right?

Do you hate giving your kids a bath?