Struggling A Bit …

I feel like I’ve lost my mojo.

I struggle so much some days mentally that it makes me doubt my entire being.

I look in the mirror and still don’t recognise myself.

I need to lose weight. I need to eat better. I need to stop eating gluten (I have Coeliac Disease).

But I’m addicted; to food.

Some weeks I eat amazingly and start losing weight; but then the next week I’m back to eating crap again.

It’s affecting my mental state horribly.

I need to get more exercise but I honestly don’t know when to do it. With my 3 year old starting Kindy in the new term, I finally might be able to get a walk in!

My house is a cluster fuck of mess and renovations (done by ourselves which is why it takes so long). My husband is passionate about doing stuff himself (because he loves it), so I would never take that away from him. Plus we have no money haha .. so I just put up with what’s here.

The kids don’t care, but you know what it’s like: messy house, messy mind.

Some days being on social media can be a bit of a mind fuck. I look at other bloggers, and other social media people, and I think “I’m not good enough”. Or “I’m just boring”. Or “I’m not pretty like them, and people don’t really connect with ugly people” … that might sound ridiculous, but sometimes that’s my brain.

Mostly I live in my own world and do my own thing, but every now and then, I look outside of my bubble; and what I see is sometimes a bit disheartening. I love doing what I do, it’s just sometimes I just feel like I’m just not worthy, ya know?

I don’t know if any of this makes sense. I’ll bounce back tomorrow (or next week) but at the moment I’m in this weird state of mind.

Let me just say this though, you guys (yup those reading this) are who remind me that it’s ok to be me. I don’t need to be a 10/10 in the looks department.

You remind me that close ups of my face are ok sometimes, and that screen shotting a weird-as eel and pasting it on my Snapchat (happymumnz) is ok.

Being weird and different is ok.

So whilst I might struggle every now and then, you guys are often the ones who get me through (of course my family as well but you know what I mean). So thank you.

Feel free to follow me on Snapchat for the honest, behind the scenes, shit LOLOL: happymumnz

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