Being Fun Parents
Yesterday afternoon when I picked my daughter (5) up from school, she was upset because we are not the “fun parents”. She said that we yelled at her all the time, and that we told her off too much.
She said that she wished someone else was her parents.
I was shocked and a little upset, but to start with I didn’t show her that. I questioned her and what she meant, and we spent the 5 minute drive home chatting about it.
My heart did break.
If you follow me on Snapchat (happymumnz) you will have seen that when we got home, I changed it up a bit and we did have some fun.
After the kids went to bed, and Chloe and I had a chat, I realised where the comments from her may have come from.
When she was sick, my Mum came over (her Gran) and she had a lot of fun with her. Just like most kids have with their Grandparents, or Aunties, or Uncles, or ANYONE outside of the immediate parental unit.
When we debriefed together at bedtime, I explained to her that we will always be parents first and friends second – and that every other parent out there is the same.
I explained that “Gran and Pa” will always be more fun than Mum and Dad.
And that’s right – Grandparents (for the most part) have done their time as parents, and it’s their time to enjoy the grandkids.
They don’t have to parent the child 24/7, so they can be the fun ones.
Of course I realise she might not understand this, but one day she will and until then I will be doing my best to encourage her to continue talking to me when she feels upset about something.
I am beyond proud of her for telling me how she felt, and I hear her loud and clear.
It is a hard wake up call for me but one that I truly appreciate I have the opportunity to have.
Our family have a lot of fun together, but we are always parents first because it’s our job to guide our children in this world.
Yes I do yell at my kids. Yes I do tell them off. But we also laugh a lot more than both of those things and for me that is just as important. Our family is full of fun and laughter, but with guidance inbetween.
What do you think? Parents first, friends second?