Dear Other Half, Get Over Yourself
I have had so many people message me personally to talk about depression, and I love it. You can all talk to me any time. HOWEVER, a lot of people (which is really sad) say that their partner is not supportive in any way. That they yell at them and tell them to suck it up. Far out, that riles me up incredibly. So here is my letter to that person.
I also see it a lot in online groups – people complaining that their husband or partner (or wife!) isn’t supportive.
Dear Other Half,
Get over yourself. The world does not revolve around you. There are other people in it who, heaven forbid, have a rougher time than you think.
Depression is an illness. The person who has it CANNOT control it; it controls them. It is a chemical imbalance which takes over a person’s mind.
Yelling at the person, telling them to “suck it up” when they’re upset, is a dick move. You’re supposed to be their partner in life. To support them and your children. Being anything less is just being an asshole.
Did you know that words and actions actually affect a person? That when a person, who has depression, feels down, and you yell at them, that it makes them get worse?
I have had several people tell me that because of their partner’s actions, it has made them think of suicide.
Do you want to be known as that partner who made them think about killing themselves?
Buck up and support the other half in your relationship. It’s not all about you, and for crying out loud, just be nice to a person. Just because you don’t understand what your partner is going through, doesn’t mean it’s not valid.
Start talking to your partner like they’re your actual friend. If you don’t know what to do, ASK.
Don’t be a dick.
To all you parents out there who have depression – please keep talking about it. PM me, PM your friends. Talk to your friends. If your friends are like your partner, or tell you to suck it up – then send them this post. Because FRIENDS, you should be better than that.
If you are unsure about how you feel, please go and see your Doctor. They are honestly the best person to speak to. And if you don’t like your doctor, go and find a new one. You need to feel comfortable with your GP. They need to be on your side.
As does your partner.
EDITED TO ADD: If you have read this, and think “oh crap that’s me being the douchebag”, then perhaps you need to seek some help too. Recognising there is something that isn’t quite right is the first step – when it comes to anything. Here’s my post on seeking help, but if you are serious about acknowledging there is a problem, and getting assistance, then please talk to your doctor too. Both men AND women can suffer from depression. It’s not all one sided.