© Maria Foy | Happy Mum Happy Child
I’M NOT REALLY A BAD MOTHER: AND NEITHER ARE YOU
I read a blog the other day and it resounded with me so profoundly that I felt like I had to tell my own story about not really being a bad mother – even though I doubt myself and my abilities each, and every single day.
Most days I wake up raring to go, but often I wake up and it just feels like this parenting world is swallowing me whole. I do have post-natal depression, but know that parenting would still be a struggle regardless.
Several times the kids have even asked me what’s wrong, which breaks my heart that they’ve noticed. Sometimes I can’t contain the tears before 10am, or before they’ve left the room, and I sit there bawling my eyes out.
Once I yelled at my kids and just broke out into sobs: we were all crying.
Parenting is not easy at all. It takes you to places you never thought you’d go. And sometimes the enormity of it all, that it’s for the rest of your life, can seriously throw you for six.
Then on top of that, you’re in this position as a mother where you’re doing things you’re slightly not proud of:
- Like yelling at your kids for the millionth time;
- Crying in front of them;
- Not washing your kids pjs every single day (LOL);
- Telling the kids over and over to stop looking at and talking to each other (because of their fighting) until you suddenly lose the plot and rage out like The Hulk;
- Feeding them McDonald’s;
- Desperately wanting them to stay in bed for five more minutes just so you can have some time to yourself;
- Not wanting to play pretend with them;
- Letting them eat in front of TV because it’s easier than dealing with the fight that is getting them to eat;
- Not actually knowing what the f’k I’m doing as a parent.
There are a million other things which make me feel like I really am the worst person in the world. The worst mother. Some days I ignore the voice in my head, and others it becomes too much and I break.
One of the things I’ve realised through the joy of running Happy Mum Happy Child, is that a lot of parents go through these motions. A lot of parents doubt themselves and their ability.
A lot of other parents yell at their kids, and feed them takeaways every now and them. A lot of parents hide in the toilet for a moment of sanity, and just want five more minutes peace in the morning.
Surely there are others out there who have no idea what they’re doing.
So if all of these parents are in the same boat, then that must mean I’m semi-normal. It must mean that I’m not alone: and that wee fact helps me to get through those moments.
Most of us struggle, and are not bad mothers.