Sex After Kids

© Can Stock Photo / yacobchuk

Sex After Kids!

Sex after kids!  Who the heck wants to talk about that?! Well I didn’t.  But over the last few years I’ve heard SO MANY people tell me a variety of things, which have actually reassured me.

I have also run this blog past my husband, and he has given me the OK … I would never write about this without discussing it first.

After I gave birth to my first child, which was naturally, I was SO SCARED to have sex.  Like ridiculously scared.  I had stitches and was worried that it was going to tear and hurt incredibly.

So I waited a LONG time.  4-5 months later, it happened and it was fine.  No problem at all.

Not everyone has this experience though, and my advice is to do it when YOU are ready.  There is no right or wrong.

“I have all the best intentions in the world, UNTIL 6pm, then its bugger off with those wanton eyes”

Moving forward, regular sex has kind of gone out the window.  I want to do it, but at the end of the day I am so knackered, I just can’t be bothered.

Not only that, my body has changed SO MUCH since having children, I just don’t find myself attractive. I was always borderline not liking myself before kids, so now I truly struggle to see how someone else can find me attractive too.

I had a C-Section with my second child, so my stomach will NEVER look the same.  Which meant I was even more disappointed with my body post babies.

My husband is great though. He is very very understanding, although deep down I know it’s not easy for him.

If I’m completely honest with you, we have sex maybe once every a month. If that.

It’s embarrassing. I’m not proud of it. I want to do it more, but I am so hard on myself about my body, that it stops me from doing anything. Plus, I am tired.  Like seriously, EXHAUSTED. When I lie down in bed at 8.30pm, I am literally asleep within 5 minutes.

It’s not an easy topic to talk about, but SO MANY people have questioned it on different Facebook forums that I thought it was time to tackle it.

Some Mums bounce right back and have no problems at all – but that’s not me. I don’t want it to be like this, but it is.

I can’t wait to get back into it when the kids are older and I get more sleep HAHA … and hopefully I learn to love my new body.

Because ultimately, that’s what it is about. Learning to love myself.

from my Happy Mum Happy Child Facebook Page

canstockphoto9569215“What’s sex!?”

“I was so scared to have sex after birth”

“What is this sex thing you speak of!!??”

“I have all the best intentions in the world, UNTIL 6pm, then its bugger off with those wanton eyes”

“I just jumped straight back in, no problem here!”

“That’s the bonus of being a single parent, when it’s on offer I’m okay to lose a whole nights sleep”

“I have 2 kids under 2; sex is never happening here!!”

“Sex after kids, :/ , is that even a thing?”

These are quotes from Mum’s on pages I am a part of on Facebook.  I have asked their permission to quote them, but have chosen not to use their names 🙂

I want to personally thank my due groups for having an open and honest conversation about sex after kids – truly appreciate it 😀


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Thank you, Maria. I needed to read this, especially today when ~*expectations are high as it’s Father’s Day hahaha!
My husband’s pretty chill with this new situation since having a kid but I feel like it’s other couples who can be more judge-y. I feel the same about not feeling as attractive and also being so tired at the end of the day, but the biggest factor that holds me back is the possibility of getting pregnant earlier than planned if that makes sense? I don’t want two under fives. :((
But yay for supportive husbands and partners, right? We are still so lucky. 😀

Nellie Bell

I never birthed my babies and I think I’ve struggled with the fact that my failure starts with SeX doesn’t end up doing what it’s meant too! Ending in pregnancy!!! Give you a whole different kind of body hate! But I love my husband so much and now that the wee fella is closer to 4 and definitely sleeping threw the night, I decided to make the Sunday rule. If I haven’t put out by Sunday then Sunday’s the Day! I really struggled at 1st and sometimes it just doesn’t happen But after a few months I’m actually finding we never make it to Sunday. I’m loving my new found teenage like love I have for my dh and have began to just enjoy the feeling and not worry about the purpose of Sex. Being overweight I’ll always have body hate but the way my DH loves me and the fact that he still finds me so attractive after 15 years is kind of a ummmm turn on lol sorry if tmi!!! Sex is the only thing we don’t share with the millions of people in our lives it’s just for us. Don’t get me wrong it’s just normal boring stuff but it’s perfect for us!!!!


I wish mine was as supportive, he feels that im not attracted to him any more but im just exhausted all the time. I work full time and have a 5yr old and a 2.5yr old. Dad only works part time while the kids are in care full time so I don’t think he understands how tired I get 🙁

coffee and concealer....

heheh – what a great post – ahhh i feel so much better knowing theres other mums out there who feel the same…. funny how fast the weeks roll by and then you realise its been a while!


On Father’s Day I have got to say I have an amazing supportive husband. We are first time parents and totally underestimated the amount of work that happens to raise a child and hey sex is something you have no desire to think about after a full on day.
But after 8 months post partum I have to say sex is still not brought up and I still feel very “yucky” about myself to attempt it. Self esteem particularly in the image department is at a all time low.
It would be nice to cozy together and show appreciation and have some fun but as soon as I hit the bed I just want to knock off!
I reckon I will only be ready when I feel good about myself and that ain’t happening till I lose a whole bunch of kilos. Poor hubby 🙁

Vikki Armstrong

Its like you’re describing my life – except the c-section.

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