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12 Things They Won’t Tell You About Parenting, But I Will
So Scary Mommy did a post about “Ten Things “They” Won’t Tell You….But I Will” …
It included things like “you become a liar” and “every product can hurt your child” … It was a wonderful list, but I’m here to give you my list. From a Mum who doesn’t give a sh*t about McDonald’s being in her kid’s system once a week …
Here is MY list of things they won’t tell you about parenting, but I will :
1. You Might Not Love Your Baby Straight Away
When you pop that cherub out of your body (however they come out) you might not know who they are. You might not recognise them. Truth is, you might not love your baby straight away. But thank goodness these things grow up and you WILL love them. Eventually. All good things take time …
2. You May Not Love Sex
Sex after having a baby can be daunting. Not only that, but your body has changed so you may not even love yourself enough to feel comfortable in having sex with your partner. It’s ok … like point number 1: all good things take time. Remember to keep communication up with your partner so he/she knows how you feel.
3. Devices Are Life
You will learn early on that devices can be a saviour. They saved us when our first born was eating solids. We’d put it on to distract her while we shoved food into her mouth … if we left it up to her, she’d spend 2 hours throwing the food about the room. Instead we put an “educational” video on to distract her. Devices are also great as the children grow older and you need a coffee / tea break. Or you feel like you’re going to lose the plot. Embrace the device: it’s really ok.
4. You Will Have No Idea What You’re Doing
None of us do. Not even those who have had family members who are younger: nothing prepares you for Motherhood. My Mum was the 2nd eldest of NINE children and was 16 when her sister was born and vividly remembers it. AGAIN, nothing prepared her for being a Mother. When you have to get up in the middle of the night a million times and you never really know what sleep is like. Babysitting is not parenting. Owning a pet is not parenting. NOTHING prepares you for parenthood …
5. You Will Find Ways Of Being Sneaky
Parenting is almost like an entry-level course into being a spy. You learn to do things in the sneakiest of ways … from shovelling a whole chocolate bar into your mouth whilst hiding from your kids, to adding vegetables into their meal without them knowing. You become good at doing things without them knowing.
6. Takeaways Are OK
Every now and then (or more often) takeaways are ok. Cooking dinner with babies / kids can be extremely stressful so turning to takeaways is ok. You are not a bad parent for doing this – never forget that. And you know what: if you never give your kids takeaways, that’s ok too xx
7. It’s Ok To Have A Messy House
You may be a clean and tidy freak, but parenting may make you see it’s ok to relax. It may make you see that between 6am – 8pm the house can be messy. Then you can tidy up; then the hours in between when they’re asleep, it can be tidy and that’s ok. Kids are kids only for a short time … then they learn to tidy up after themselves (or if you make them).
8. Your Relationship May Change
Bringing a child in this world is the toughest thing ever. It tests every part of your entire being AND your relationship. People who say “I’ll have a baby to bring us closer together” are sorely mistaken that it will do so. Your relationship will be tested and that’s ok. Like I’ve said many times above – time will change everything.
9. Any Preconception Of Parenting Will Go Out The Window
Thought you’d never yell at your child?! Out the window. Thought you’d never have a child who said “No” … out the window. Any ideas you had prior to being a parent, about parenting, will go out the window. Parenting is never what you think it will be, and that’s ok. Be prepared to eat your words though … because parenting is hard. You adapt with what you’ve got, and sometimes, you get a messy car that you can’t be bothered cleaning …
10. Your Body May Never Be The Same
For a lot of us our body’s will never be the same. They will never recover from pregnancy / birth / the joys of parenting. I have had a natural birth and a C Section and that stomach thing ain’t never going to be the same. No matter how hard I try.
11. You May Cry A Lot
Whether you miss your old life before having kids, or you’re finding parenting too much: the tears may flow a lot. Your emotions may get the better of you on more than one occasion and that’s ok. Transitioning from your life to parenthood is not one that is easy for some. Along the way you also may find a chemical imbalance may take place (post natal depression) and you may need some extra help – if you’re worried about this, please chat to your Doctor.
12. You Will Have A Love/Hate Relationship With The Word “MUM”
When your baby first starts speaking it’s the best thing in the world. MUM is the most amazing sound to ever have escaped your baby’s lips. However as they grow up this “amazing sound” turns into a torture device which is repeated a thousand times a minute. You will soon regret teaching your child to speak the word Mum, and instead hindsight will show that the word “DAD” needed to be put in there ….
Obviously I have missed out a few … like sleep. Oh dear god sleep will never be the same. And your love of wine and coffee may increase. But I’ve tried to cover as much as possible …
Parenting might be hard, but by golly we do it again and again. It’s very very rewarding, and worth every second spent agonising about the change, and crying through the struggles.