This is a long one, so get sat down and buckle up …
If you’ve been following me for a while, you may have noticed that so far this year it’s been relatively drama-free for me.
Last year, I really struggled with drama that I was involved in, or inadvertently started. I never set out to create drama, but last year there was a lot of it.
Most of which you guys don’t know about, but obviously there will be a few things that may spring to mind (I have chatted about some below). Overall, having things said about me which are untrue has really hurt me.
So this year, at the beginning of the year, my friends sat down with me and basically said “you have to learn to stop reacting to people, and accept that not everyone is going to like you”.
It’s something I struggle with because I am a people pleaser.
I also process things by speaking about them – by hashing them out; it’s just what I do.
So last year on Snapchat (happymumnz), I did get emotional about the way I was treated. Or even the way things were going online.
This year, however, it’s been quiet.
It hasn’t been easy for me at all, but basically I have had to dial back my opinion on things; and try to ignore the negative comments.
I wrote a post earlier this year about the people who comment negatively on the internet.
Essentially, I suggested the people who think negatively of myself, or others, should take that negativity and channel it into something positive. Instead of hammering myself (or others) online, they should go and praise their favourite people.
Being positive is so much better than being negative!
I’ve now realised that because I have a large following, there are people out there who just love to hate me. Which totally baffles me because I am seriously not worth hating.
I am just a Mum with a blog on the internet.
Last year I was criticised for the way I talked about cutting grapes, or the fact I didn’t cut them. And also the fact that ultimately IDGAF what you do, and received a crap tonne of hate for “starting drama” – which I honestly wasn’t but there is no convincing people. That was grape-gate.
Then there was bath-gate – which again I just told people that when I’m on duty (and my husband is away), I don’t necessarily give my kids a bath each night. Again, apparently I was just starting drama – and again I was not.
Then there was pyjama-gate – because I don’t wash my kids pyjamas every day. Apparently when I offer my thoughts on certain topics, people don’t realise my philosophy of “this is what I do, and I know you do it differently”.
Then there are the times I simply stand up for myself – not stating any names or anything like that, but I still get slammed for starting drama.
Finally, the straw that broke the camel’s back: the time I apparently lied about getting paid by Kmart – I didn’t lie. I have never ever been paid by Kmart to do any promotional work. Then I got slammed for not addressing the Kmart thing (which apparently proved that I was a liar) – when in fact I did actually address it.
I addressed it RIGHT HERE (at the end).
I didn’t publicly address it through video, or a dedicated blog, or even on Snapchat like I normally would – because this was next level. And at this point, honestly, people will believe what they want. It was a really rough time for me to have to sit back and say nothing about the whole thing. To basically put my hands up and say “believe what you want”, was hard for me to do. Because of course I wanted to defend myself and shout from the rafters that it was nonsense.
NONE of my friends came up and asked me if it was true – because they all knew it was fake news. Nobody in real life doubted me except people online waiting for a reason to dislike me.
It is a timely reminder for everyone, that not everything you read in the news is the truth …
At the end of the day, when I look back on this stuff and what was said and done; I have learned a lot.
I have learned to not make comments about other people or situations on social media – even if I feel strongly about them. It’s just not worth it – especially because people like to make things up and believe what they hear instead of coming to the source and asking me.
I do not mean anyone any harm when I say or do the things I’ve said and done – and if I have ever offended anyone by my comments or actions then I apologise.
I am legitimately just trying to live my life as a blogger – sharing what I do with my kids. I do this to help myself and others feel less alone in this parenting journey.
I LOVE the fact that we are all different and do things differently – I think we should embrace this fact and applaud each other for doing it our own way. I don’t care how you do things in your life, as long as your children aren’t being abused in any way, shape or form.
I like being as honest as I can be about things, but as my audience grows larger, it does become more difficult.
Of course I realise that by posting this, I’m essentially re-hashing the drama and bringing it all back up again.
I get it.
I’m not trying to start drama, rather I’m just trying to let you guys know some things you might not have known.
I’ve needed to write some of this for a while but needed to be in the right head space.
So you might see me online and think “oh she’s not as interesting or exciting as she used to be” – good. I’d rather be boring and stay out of any kind of drama.
But there are times when it’s super hard for me not to say something. Or to talk about certain topics.
Believe me, I’m a talker. It’s what I do best.