Does Marriage Matter To You?

© Maria Foy | Happy Mum Happy Child

 


Does Marriage Matter To You?

This isn’t really a parenting topic specifically, but it was one I was asked to chat about on my Snapchat the other night (Snapchat: happymumnz).

Just for argument’s sake, I’ll let you know my story (briefly I promise):

Phil and I have been together for 12 years, and married for 6. That’s it. That’s our story. AWW MARIA IT’S SO SWEET!

Marriage to me was important. I can’t explain why, but it was. I wanted to be known as Mrs Foy. I wanted to go down the official path that my parents, and my husband’s parents, went down.

When it comes to others, I want them to know that in all honesty, it’s totally up to them.

To some people, it’s just a piece of paper.

To me, it was more: it was a commitment for life. A documented commitment, in front of a shit-tonne of people. We were basically declaring to our closest family and friends that we love each other, and we commit to be with each other through thick and thin.

To others, it’s not worth doing that. To others, they’d rather simply say “I promise it’s you and me forever”. Nothing more, nothing less.

Given today’s divorce rates, I would imagine, getting married to some seems like a bit of a silly thing to do; because regardless if people get married, they seemed to get divorced too and/or separate.

Promising to one another to commit to each other, in the privacy of their own home, can be just as valid. It’s just not written on a piece of paper, and filed in our government’s filing system.

I love being married, but when I changed my name I did feel a little lost. Suddenly I had lost 28 years of my life with my maiden name. Suddenly my name was new and it felt bizarre.

I wouldn’t change it for the world, but that was how I felt.

HOWEVER, I personally don’t think you necessarily need to be married to commit to stay with each other.

That is, of course, a conversation you need to have between the two of you.

You both have to be on the same page, and if you’re not then you need to keep talking until you are. Or at least until you are both happy with the decision.

Marriage is not the be-all-and-end-all. You can commit to each other without actually signing a document in front of a thousand people.

What do you think – does marriage matter to you?

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