© Can Stock Photo / Bialasiewicz
Judgemental Mums: We All Do It
Guess what guys? Everyone judges; it’s what we do.
The definition of judging is “to quickly form a bias and/or personal opinion about someone or something”.
Well sh*t we all do that, even I do.
We all look at certain situations and form a judgement: it’s just what we do. I really don’t think there’s any way around that.
A Mum at a playground on her phone while her kid plays: OH THE JUDGEMENT. Vaccinating (or not) your kids: JUDGEMENT. McDonald’s for dinner: JUDGY MCJUDGERSON. Cutting (or not cutting) grapes: JUDDDGGGEEEE.
I honestly don’t believe we will ever NOT be able to judge someone or something; and I personally will never ask you to stop judging because that would mean I would have to and I don’t think I could.
However it’s what we do with that judgement that defines us as a person. That statement is one I’ve always stood behind, and I always will.
You don’t need to open your mouth and say what you’re thinking (*gasp*). You don’t need to write that message online to someone to tell them your thoughts.
I know it might give you a great deal of satisfaction; it might make you feel powerful. But by verbalising your judgement in that kind of way says more about you than it does about anything else.
You’ve just put yourself out there with that judgement for all to see. You might think it’s anonymous, but it’s not.
You know what you’ve done.
Now some will probably say “of course they don’t care, which is why they do it”. I get that.
But I live in the knowledge that I’m a good person and would never do anything like that to anyone to cause them to get upset.
That person can’t say that, and they have to live with that.
Another really great thing to remember is – you never ever know anyones full story. Ever.
My husband doesn’t know mine, and I don’t know his – and we’re bloody married! When you judge a situation and verbalise it, you’re assuming you know everything.
WRONG: no one does.
Parenting is the hardest job ever (in my opinion). We’re constantly making decisions for ourselves and our family based on our own thoughts, beliefs and experiences. No one is the same: and that’s what makes the world an amazingly interesting place.
Judging is what we all do. Don’t stop judging – but instead learn to keep it to yourself. Learn that it’s not necessary to share everything you think.
Remember: it’s what we do with the judgement that defines us as a person. Unless you’re asked for your opinion, you don’t have to share it.
Whoa, now that’s a dose of realism.
Let’s take this on board and try to teach our children this. To help them be better human beings.