Me As A Parent
I love my children, and my husband. More than anything in this world. For some, parenting is a breeze (or at least they would have us believe it is), but for myself, it isn’t. Here are some facts about me as a parent …
I am not perfect.
Sometimes I don’t want to be sitting playing with my kids. Pretending to be a doll is one of my least favourite things.
Sometimes I dream about a weekend away in a hotel, where all I do is eat food, drink wine and sleep uninterrupted.
Every single day, I sit and doubt myself, and my decisions, as a parent.
I wake up, and promise myself that “today will be a new day, and I won’t yell. I won’t get upset, and we’ll be happy”. And five minutes after the kids have woken up, I have broken all of my promises.
Some days I feel like my children are put on this planet to push me to the brink of insanity.
Some days I wish wine was plumbed into the house so that I could get it from the tap.
Some days I see people’s seemingly perfect lives on the internet and want to smash the screen.
Then there are the days when my kids actually eat their food; when my kids play beautifully together, and the sight of each other doesn’t make them want to kill each other.
There are the days when they will actually play happily without needing assistance from me. Or the days when we can sit and read a book together without a war erupting between North & South Korea (my kids).
There are the days when my kids will randomly come and give me hugs and kisses. Or the days when I am confident in my decisions as a parent.
Every single parent has these thoughts or feelings in some form or another. We all doubt ourselves and our parenting ability, and dream of escaping, even for a brief moment. We also have the days that balance us out.
Our children drive us insane, and make us love them unconditionally all at the same time.
It is the hardest most challenging thing I will ever do in my life, and I wouldn’t change it for the world. I love being a parent, and all the things it is teaching me about myself, my world, my life and my children.
I would still, however, like wine to be plumbed into my house … it may just make my life a little bit easier ????