Stop Telling Me What To Do
One thing I hate the most as a parent, is being told what to do.
In fact, no human being likes being told what to do; but as a parent it’s even more true.
- You should feed your baby like this
- You should vaccinate / you shouldn’t vaccinate
- You shouldn’t sleep with your baby like that
- There’s too much sugar in that, don’t give it to your kids
- You should feed your kids this
- Don’t discipline your kids like that
- Do you really think that’s ok for your kid to be doing that
- Don’t let your kid play in the rain, they’ll get sick
- You need to have another kid, so the other one isn’t lonely
- You need to stay at home and look after your baby
- You should be married by now …
- Blah blah blah …
Stop fucking telling me what to do.
Just like when your parents told you not to date a guy, you’re more likely to do it just ’cause someone said not to.
I’m an adult of reasonable intelligence, and can make my own decisions. Sure they might be wrong, I’m not perfect. But they’re MY decisions, made of my own accord.
The one thing about parenting that I love, is that I fuck it up all the time. It’s almost a rite of passage. Make mistake: learn.
And that’s life right there in that sentence – make a mistake, and then learn.
When someone tells you what to do in life, it’s actually counter-productive. You’re more likely to dig your heals in and say “piss off”.
What’s useful, is saying something like “hey, I found this really works but I completely understand it’s not for everyone”. Take a different approach. A non-direct approach.
I am a firm believer that everyone parents differently, and what works for one, does not work for another. Nobody knows anyone’s personal circumstances at home.
So in all of my posts on here, if I offer any advice, I ALWAYS say “what works for me, might not work for you”. And follow up with “take it all in, and do what you want”.
Basically saying – learn as much as you can and then do with it what you want. Because knowledge is power.
I am so sick and tired of being told what to do as a parent. I firmly believe I am doing my best, whilst striving to be a better parent. Do I make mistakes?! Heck yes. But that is a part of my life, and one I’m not about to change.
So please, stop telling me what to do.