A Message To My Fellow Women

This has been on my mind for a while now, so I thought I’d write about it.

I know so many women who hate the whole “build women up don’t tear them down” mantra; they think it’s bullshit.

What’s bullshit is the fact that women have struggled for centuries being known as the weaker sex. We weren’t allowed to take birth control pills, open a bank account, become a lawyer, wear pants, smoke in public, work while pregnant and of course – we weren’t even allowed to fucking vote, do you remember that?!

We are still constantly being told what we can and can’t do – don’t wear your skirt too short, don’t walk down alleyways at night, don’t eat too much food, don’t burp, don’t fart, don’t laugh too loud … BLAH BLAH FUCKING BLAH.

Things have come a long way, but of course there’s still room for improvement. 

Sadly, there are women out there who think it’s cool to hate on other women publicly. 

They think it’s cool to tear other women down to make themselves feel better / look better.

A lot of these women are on social media who like to play the game of “I’m doing what’s best for everyone by saying this” to their audience or to whoever will listen.

BULLSHIT. You’re doing it because it makes you feel better and makes you feel more accepted by others who might think similar to you. These other women will tell you what you’re doing is “right” and “amazing” because you’re spreading “TRUTH”. 

More often than not, it’s directed at other women they’ve never even met. Just formed opinions based on the 30 seconds they see online.

Thank goodness a lot of people see through this bullshit. 

Sadly what other women are doing is tearing down someone else to make themselves feel better. 

Society’s rules and expectations on women sadly have put us in competition with other women. We have to fight so hard for a space for ourselves that we end up fighting other women a lot; when in fact we could well be missing out on so many friends, allies and mentors.

You know we all make mistakes in life right? How else are we supposed to learn and grow? If I see someone make a mistake online, the last thing I think of doing is opening up my social media and saying “look how this person fucked up, let’s all chat about it so we make ourselves feel better”.

If you don’t like something, you don’t have to comment on it. No one appointed anyone to be the “purveyor of truth”. 

I know this message will probably fall on deaf ears, and people will probably hate me for saying it but I will never understand people who are unkind to others just to benefit themselves; or make themselves look good.

What’s wrong with having a conversation with people? Why not talk behind closed doors rather than scream it from the rafters?

Bring each other up, instead of pulling them down – doesn’t matter if you’re male or female or anything in between.

You don’t have to like someone – no one said you have to.

But for the love of god, stop hating people just for the sake of it.

I cannot fathom the life people must live where it’s consumed by hatred of people they’ve never even met.

Support the people you love, forget those you don’t.

Us women need to stick together – we’ve overcome such adversity throughout the years, surely now is the time to celebrate one another.

And if we can’t celebrate someone, then just leave them be.

There isn’t enough time in our short lives to worry about people we haven’t met, or legitimately have nothing to do with us.

I hope the next generation (our kids) get smart about this bullshit and stop it.

I will always teach my kids – you don’t have to like anyone, but kindness is much nicer than nastiness, and you never know what it will teach you in life.

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