After You Yell At Your Kids
One topic we always talk about as parents, and is one of the most requested in my Facebook Group for a LIVE chat topic, is “how to deal with kids” or “how to stop yelling”.
Yelling has almost become a staple in my parenting diet, and I’m not happy about it.
However, reality is, it happens. We get frustrated at our kids, and their actions (or inactions) so we yell. Do we love yelling? DEFINITELY NOT. But it’s become a way of getting our child’s attention IMMEDIATELY, and often is a result of our frustrations at not being heard or listened to by our kids.
So, like I said, reality is we all do our best not to yell, but it happens. So what happens after you yell at your kids?
1. Breathe In, Breathe Out
Chill out. Yelling always makes me even more stressed, so I need to calm down. Breathing, and focussing on your breath, will help to centre you and bring you back to the moment. Which will help clear your head.
2. Say Sorry
For me, I find apologising to my kids for yelling to be quite cathartic. Acknowledging that Mum made a mistake isn’t a bad thing. We are all human, and our kids need to know this too.
3. Explain Yourself
I will always explain why I do things. I explain so that they understand – because often kids have really got no idea what’s going on. They get caught up in their own moment. So in the “yelling situation” I usually end up saying “Guys, I am extremely frustrated that you’re not listening, which is why I yelled”. You can use simpler words, or explain more – it really is up to you. But I really do find communication as a whole, is really important.
4. Try Again
Try getting your kids to listen to what you’ve been trying to tell them (when you were yelling). And HELP them achieve it – talk through it together. Even if you have to take a few minutes to plan it out in your head.
4. Do Something Fun
Change it up. Go outside with your kids, or get a puzzle out. Change the situation up and have some fun with your kids. They’ll soon forget in no time that you’ve yelled, and laughter / fun is good for the soul.
5. Remember They’re Kids
It’s really important to remember that kids are just that – kids. They have a short memory, and have the attention span of a goldfish. They are also ruled by their emotions – and can often get trapped in them, making it impossible to get out of. I like to think of myself, with my Post Natal Depression, and the feeling I get of being unable to move out of an emotion.
Often kids refuse to listen to us because they’re distracted, or just don’t want to do what we’re telling them – so just remember, as frustrating as it is, they’re still kids and are still learning – and we are here to teach them.
DON’T FORGET TO HAVE CUDDLES. Cuddles are the best.
Try not to be too hard on yourself for yelling. The majority of us yell, and it comes from a place of frustration – we just want our kids to listen to us!
Just try and communicate with your kids about what’s happening – they probably have no idea why you’re yelling HAHA
Remember, I am no professional, I just share what works for me. Read this and take from it what you want. Make it work for you, and if you think none of it will work – don’t worry! We all do our best as parents.