I Am Lying To Myself & You

 


I Am Lying To Myself & You

I have Coeliac Disease (diagnosed for two years now) – where it could kill me because it’s literally ruining me from the inside out, and yet I still eat gluten filled foods because I have zero self control and apparently even the threat of death doesn’t deter me from eating crappy food.

My Coeliac Disease not only ruins me from the inside of my stomach, it ruins me mentally. Gluten affects my mental health.

So whilst my husband has been away, my eating has taken a back seat and I’ve used it as an excuse to eat whatever I want.

I eat so much junk food it’s not funny. I hide it from my kids, from my husband, and from you guys (Snapchat: happymumnz).

I am overweight (probably 95kgs and I need to be 75kgs), and I know how to lose weight, I just suck at it.

I eat bad foods, I feel bad and overweight so I start to eat healthy. Then I lose a little weight, get happy and complacent, so I start to eat bad foods again. AND IT’S A CYCLE THAT REPEATS ITSELF.

It cannot continue like this, yet it does.

And I am sick of it.

Although I would love a quick fix, I know that hard work is the only way I will get through. Not pills, not dieting, not shakes, NOTHING.

I have to fix myself mentally first, and learn that I will probably have this struggle forever but I still need to be better at eating for my health and everyone else’s sanity.

This post, if anything, was more of a confession to you guys. To admit that I really struggle with food, even though I technically have an auto immune disease and should be better with it.

It was also good to get it out of my head.

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