It’s Their Turn
So many times I have seen Mums saying “my baby won’t sleep and I’m sick” … “I just need a break“. I have seen them struggling so badly because they are sleep deprived. I have just seen a Mum ask, on a Facebook Mum’s page, “I am so sick, and my child has only slept a couple of hours, please help, what do I do”.
If you are fortunate enough to be in a relationship, then this advice is for you: GET YOUR PARTNER, WIFE OR HUSBAND, UP.
It’s their turn.
I honestly don’t know why I don’t see Mum’s suggesting this more often. There are usually two people in a relationship. Two parents. There is absolutely no reason why the other half can’t do it.
If you’re breastfeeding, then breastfeed the baby and hand that baby over to your partner, and bugger off to bed. Bottlefeeding? Well there’s really no excuse then.
I used to do this with my kids. This parenting thing is a team effort; I fed the baby, he settles him and puts him to bed.
I struggle so badly getting back to sleep that now my husband does all the night wake ups (yes, at 2 years and 4 years old, they still wake up).
There is no reason why your husband, wife or partner can’t help out. Don’t even think about saying “but they work hard during the day, they deserve a sleep”. And you don’t?! You’re a mother 24/7 and you need your sleep MORE than they do.
It has actually been scientifically proven that women’s health is affected more by lack of sleep, than men’s.
Don’t get me wrong, us women need to play our part too, but lets be realistic – while you’re out struggling to get the baby back to sleep, your partner is blissfully unaware. Your stresses will be felt by the child too.
I remember very clearly being mega tense, upset and on the verge of tears when trying to get my girl to go to sleep. I’d call my husband out and he’d have her to sleep in less than 10 minutes. Sometimes the other person has less stress and the baby realises that and relaxes.
Either way … please please please ask for help. That is what your partner is there for.
Single parents – I am sorry that you don’t have this assistance. It is relentless for you, and I have so much respect for you and what you do.
For both solo and attached parents – it does get better. Your babies do grow up. Things change.
But please, don’t think, EVER, that you can’t get your partner up to help you. If they have an excuse every time as to why they can’t help, then I think perhaps you need to have a serious chat with them ….
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Amen and amen and amen to this. From when our son stopped needing a middle of the night feed, my husband did the midnight wake ups because he can literally get back into bed and fall straight to sleep whereas it would take me FOREVER. Now that CJ is older, we “share the love” on a bad night but you totally have to do what works for you.
@SweetMamaM – I see so many Mum’s making excuses as to why their partner can’t help and it makes me sad. Parenting is a team effort and the night stuff is the hardest. So glad you guys are on the same page 😀
We don’t have kids, but I am that person that finds it so difficult to get back to sleep, whereas my partner is generally out like a light. You can bet that if/when we have kids that I’ll be making sure he pulls his weight!
@brushandbullet Thanks for the comment and for taking the time to read this, esp because you don’t have kids! I think it’s just important that the parents work together when it comes to kids – everybody works hard and deserves a break, but when working together, things get done so much better. The falling asleep thing still kills me now … I’m forever staring at the ceiling thinking “my kid is going to wake up any moment and I should be asleep” haha
I will never forget how sleep deprived I was after having my daughter. My overnight stays in hospital and birthcare had to be done without him. One day when we were at home, my partner told me to sleep and he will entertain our daughter. While I slept, my daughter got hungry and instead of waking me up, my partner brought her into the room, pulled down my top and latched her on while I slept. Now thats what I call a dream feed 🙂
@HelataA OMG that’s awesome!
My husband and I don’t remember how we survived the first few months, especially that our son was born in the peak of calving season LOL fun times. We do have vague memories of him doing majority of the house chores (cleaning, cooking, laundry etc) and me doing most of the stuff that came with newborns. I was up in the middle of many nights but it was great not to have to worry about the house and adult food during the day.
It’s a system that worked for us for a while, then we got our parents to “visit” around the time the baby was eight months and then both my husband and I got a really nice break. 🙂
@April Trillana – I think that as a family you do whatever works. And you guys know what works … so great that you guys were together on it though. Working together. Looking back, I don’t really remember either what I did haha … which is a good thing. It wasn’t a fun time that’s for sure!