When I became a parent, it was the scariest thing ever. I couldn’t wait to become a Mum, but the moment my baby was born, I had no clue what I was doing.
I felt incredibly lost.
I’d spent 28 years just worrying about myself, and now I was responsible for a baby – it freaked me out.
I struggled a lot, got post natal depression, struggled more and couldn’t wait for them to grow up and be a little more independent.
Now it’s been 7 years and both of my kids are at school. My youngest (who is 5) started school at the beginning of this year.
It’s taken me a long time to want to admit this, but I feel kinda lost.
I don’t have kids with me 24/7 (as they’re at school), but thankfully I have my blog / social media channels to keep me busy. I also earn a little from this, which allows me to continue to stay at home.
So it’s not that I’m bored, in fact I love doing what I’m doing. I just don’t really know what I’m doing.
I just feel lost; it’s like I have no place in this world.
It’s the weirdest feeling ever.
It’s like I’m a little irrelevant.
I still go through the motions as a parent – wake up, make the lunches, get the kids breakfast, get them ready for school, drop them off.
Then there’s this gap in the day, and I jump back into parenting at the end of it.
Of course, parenting is more than just about those moments when the kids are around – there’s a lot of thinking, planning and worrying.
However, I feel like something is missing.
I have no idea what it is, but I still feel lost.
Does any of that make sense? I just had this urge to get it out of my head, and this is what came out. Let me know if you’ve felt like that …