Those First Few Hours

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I don’t have anything to compare this too, but just from what I’ve heard other’s say, my first child’s birth was relatively quick.

After being induced at 7.30am, I had Chloe at 9.30pm that night after 1 hour of pushing. Obviously there’s more to the story than that, but you can read that in my Labour Stories post.

By 11pm, I was out of hospital in our car on our way to BirthCare.

I remember so vividly sitting in the back of the car, while Phil drove, and saying “I can’t believe I just had a baby“.

I think I was in shock a little.

When Chloe was born, I didn’t “click” with her straight away. It took me a while to realise she was my baby.

So that car ride from the hospital to BirthCare, I felt very disconnected from the whole thing.

It was a very surreal moment and one I’ll never forget.

It was almost like I hadn’t given birth at all, instead had just been given this baby to look after.

I didn’t know who she was, and I had no idea what to do.

That first night at BirthCare was crazy; up all night trying to breastfeed. I had midwives all over my boobs trying to show me different ways to get the baby to latch.

Every time I’d start to fall asleep, the baby would wake up.

Changing nappies.

And bleeding.

Still not knowing what I was doing.

Still feeling like I’d been given a child and had not connected with this person at all.

I found it very rough.

When my Mum came to visit the next day (she’d flown over from Australia), I burst into tears. I really didn’t know what to do, or say, or how to handle anything.

I needed my Mum.

But sadly my Mum didn’t live in New Zealand at that time, so that was another thing that added to my struggle.

So those first few hours, and days, were incredibly rough for me. I was confused, overwhelmed, had no idea what I was doing and felt very lost.

It took me a really long time to connect with my eldest, which I still feel incredibly guilty about. But it is what it is, and I love her more than anything in the world (and her brother of course).

How were those first few hours after giving birth for you?

Those First Few Hours

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