When My Best Friend Goes Away
If you follow me on Snapchat (happymumnz), you may or may not know that I am parenting without Phil at the moment.
He’s been away in the Dominican Republic for almost 2 weeks now. I won’t say exactly what he does as I do like to keep some things private.
It was supposed to be a week, but sadly things turned to custard on the job he was working on and ended up having to stay an additional week.
When Phil goes away I lock my brain down and focus on my routine and the kids. I have the end date in mind, which is when he comes back, and each day is one day closer to that date.
This time, that end date changed and my world was thrown into disarray.
Suddenly what I had mentally prepared for was no longer going to happen and it broke me a little bit.
I was angry, I was upset; and I felt like he would never come back.
I’ve even had nightmares the he never returns home 🙁
During this time the kids aren’t the issue – it’s my mental state. My ability to cope this time has wavered a little and it hasn’t been fun.
Somehow we all find it within ourselves to keep going, but this time it’s been a definite struggle.
I’ve had the TV on way too much. We’ve had takeaways too many times. I probably yell at the kids too much. I don’t give them a bath every night.
I never sleep properly.
Then there was a bit of drama online this week, and I didn’t have my best friend to turn to. I had no one to debrief and cry with. Fortunately a few friends stepped in but my main man wasn’t around.
PLUS the kids are getting older and understand more what it means when “Dad isn’t coming home for a while”.
Chloe has had a few tearful moments where she missed her Dad SO much that it overwhelmed her with emotion. So I had to pull my sh*t together and be strong for her.
I am hoping he will be back next week, but this time has been particularly hard for all of us. Makes me appreciate him so much more (I already do but ya know …)
Does your partner ever go away?